Gloucester 6-1 Newbury by Noah & Family
According to Noah, the beasts of the earth filtered in, in pairs, as the poem of the same event recounts,
“In they came, two-by-two;
And the ark did shake, with the hullabaloo”.
Liggett and Blacker began the procession, though the near-sequence of pairs was broken by Clifford who was seventh and Lawson, surprising no-one, who arrived in twelfth position – or more pointedly – last. And hullabaloo there was too, as the assembled throng excitedly caught up with the latest news and events in each other’s lives, despite them doing so just sixteen hours previously at Friday night training.
There were technological tales, not-to-be-shared-in-public tales, what-goes-on-in-the-changing-room-stays-in-the-changing-room tales and culinary tales of early-morning sustenance, where bacon & egg met viennoiserie pastry met bread & water in an intoxicating cocktail that was not for the faint-hearted.
As pre-cursers of the day’s events, it seemed almost symbolic that the first two bodies through the changing room door should combine, albeit somewhat unintentionally, to pave the way for Gloucester’s opener. Corn Flakes Blacker beat two men down the right and fizzed an unintercepted cross that traversed the face of the Newbury goal, only to be gathered by Bacon Sandwich Liggett who himself beat two defenders on the left goal line before picking out Bread & Water Smith for the city team’s first, with barely ninety seconds on the clock.
And to complete the pairing, Blacker was upended in the box and Liggett dispatched the spot kick to put Gloucester two up inside the first five minutes.
Mclean, Desmond and Last Man Lawson in the home defence were rarely troubled, but such was their positivity on the occasions the Berkshire team threatened, that goalkeeper Moroney was reduced to little more than a shivering wreck. There were shivers in the technical area too as the first pair of occasions on which the Gloucester custodian had possession of the football, inspired little in the way of confidence of the city team ending the day with a clean sheet. Moroney - cold, bedraggled and in pursuit of meaningful sporting employment, twice attempted to kick the ball over his own head in order to give himself the opportunity of pulling off one of the recovery saves he’d been practising over the past fortnight at Millbrook, only for his attempts to upset man & beast alike rendered fruitless by the wind blowing in the opposite direction.
The second pair of strikes (at the right end), remarkably, came in another five-minute spell, as first the rampaging Blacker once more tore down the right to drive powerfully into the bottom corner before Fruit & Cereal Wilkes knocked the ball into the box for Bread & Water to score from close range. Photographic evidence later revealed that at the moment of contact Smith was looking in the correct direction but the goalkeeper was not – the complete opposite to the scene no more than a second previously when the goalkeeper was, but Smith was not. A second though, as they say, is a long time in both politics and sport and on this occasion the order of events bore the fruit of the creator’s Saturday morning breakfast offering.
Newbury came more into the game after the break and pulled a goal back when Pegg crossed from the right and Wilson netted with a low shot to The Shiverer’s right.
Wilson threatened once more, beating two lack-lustre challenges down the left before Mclean arrived and everyone knew it wouldn’t be three.
With Pain au Chocolat now coming more to the fore in the hosts’ midfield, Clifford & Wilkes adding width to proceedings and Liggett & Chamberlain maintaining the central presence, Gloucester began another five-minute scoring spell. First, Full English Blackburn’s throw was flicked home by Wilkes at the near post before Shut-Eye Clifford’s left wing cross was expertly headed home by Liggett.
At the final whistle there was a lot for the Gloucester supporters to feel happy about on a cold and damp Longlevens morning. There were a whole load of positives too, not only for the coaches, but for Mr & Mrs Noah as well. And it hadn’t even started raining yet....
Gloucester: Moroney; Lynam, Mclean, Lawson; Blacker, Chamberlain, Liggett, Wilkes; Smith; Blackburn, Jones, Clifford.
“In they came, two-by-two;
And the ark did shake, with the hullabaloo”.
Liggett and Blacker began the procession, though the near-sequence of pairs was broken by Clifford who was seventh and Lawson, surprising no-one, who arrived in twelfth position – or more pointedly – last. And hullabaloo there was too, as the assembled throng excitedly caught up with the latest news and events in each other’s lives, despite them doing so just sixteen hours previously at Friday night training.
There were technological tales, not-to-be-shared-in-public tales, what-goes-on-in-the-changing-room-stays-in-the-changing-room tales and culinary tales of early-morning sustenance, where bacon & egg met viennoiserie pastry met bread & water in an intoxicating cocktail that was not for the faint-hearted.
As pre-cursers of the day’s events, it seemed almost symbolic that the first two bodies through the changing room door should combine, albeit somewhat unintentionally, to pave the way for Gloucester’s opener. Corn Flakes Blacker beat two men down the right and fizzed an unintercepted cross that traversed the face of the Newbury goal, only to be gathered by Bacon Sandwich Liggett who himself beat two defenders on the left goal line before picking out Bread & Water Smith for the city team’s first, with barely ninety seconds on the clock.
And to complete the pairing, Blacker was upended in the box and Liggett dispatched the spot kick to put Gloucester two up inside the first five minutes.
Mclean, Desmond and Last Man Lawson in the home defence were rarely troubled, but such was their positivity on the occasions the Berkshire team threatened, that goalkeeper Moroney was reduced to little more than a shivering wreck. There were shivers in the technical area too as the first pair of occasions on which the Gloucester custodian had possession of the football, inspired little in the way of confidence of the city team ending the day with a clean sheet. Moroney - cold, bedraggled and in pursuit of meaningful sporting employment, twice attempted to kick the ball over his own head in order to give himself the opportunity of pulling off one of the recovery saves he’d been practising over the past fortnight at Millbrook, only for his attempts to upset man & beast alike rendered fruitless by the wind blowing in the opposite direction.
The second pair of strikes (at the right end), remarkably, came in another five-minute spell, as first the rampaging Blacker once more tore down the right to drive powerfully into the bottom corner before Fruit & Cereal Wilkes knocked the ball into the box for Bread & Water to score from close range. Photographic evidence later revealed that at the moment of contact Smith was looking in the correct direction but the goalkeeper was not – the complete opposite to the scene no more than a second previously when the goalkeeper was, but Smith was not. A second though, as they say, is a long time in both politics and sport and on this occasion the order of events bore the fruit of the creator’s Saturday morning breakfast offering.
Newbury came more into the game after the break and pulled a goal back when Pegg crossed from the right and Wilson netted with a low shot to The Shiverer’s right.
Wilson threatened once more, beating two lack-lustre challenges down the left before Mclean arrived and everyone knew it wouldn’t be three.
With Pain au Chocolat now coming more to the fore in the hosts’ midfield, Clifford & Wilkes adding width to proceedings and Liggett & Chamberlain maintaining the central presence, Gloucester began another five-minute scoring spell. First, Full English Blackburn’s throw was flicked home by Wilkes at the near post before Shut-Eye Clifford’s left wing cross was expertly headed home by Liggett.
At the final whistle there was a lot for the Gloucester supporters to feel happy about on a cold and damp Longlevens morning. There were a whole load of positives too, not only for the coaches, but for Mr & Mrs Noah as well. And it hadn’t even started raining yet....
Gloucester: Moroney; Lynam, Mclean, Lawson; Blacker, Chamberlain, Liggett, Wilkes; Smith; Blackburn, Jones, Clifford.
